” I said loudly. My lawyer winced.The judge banged his gavel hard.“One more word and I will hold you in contempt of court,” he yelled at me.“I...am ordering one month of counselling. Two sessions per week. You WILL attend, Mr. Steadman, or else.” He glowered at me for a moment, then banged his gavel again. “That is all.”Julie, my soon to be ex-wife, looked smug as I entered the counsellor’s office.“I’m Dr. Sullivan, but you may call me Gerald. May I call you Brian?” he smiled at me.“No, you may. Your family will be desperate to see you.”“Ah, they can wait. Bunch of cunts. Much more important I spend more time with my blushing bride ‘ere the ceremony, aye? That’s why you came out here, right?”“Yes, that’s true. But you are…”He looked down. “Oh, that. Look, if we’re goin’ to be married, you should probably get used to it.”“My lord…”“And stop callin’ me that. Just ‘Fred.’ ”“Fred, might we cover you with my coat?”“Sure,” he said, “But first, look at this.”He was holding himself.“Aye, I. More

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